What's up, guys? It's Wednesday, and I've got some exciting news to share. Yesterday, I took my son to the DMV to get his car registered. He's now the proud owner of a 1999 Isuzu—it's a bit of a clunker, but it's his.
Also, shout out to Nurse Chick's son, who got his driver's license yesterday as well!
Now, let's dive into today's topic.
Breakups Hit Hardest When You've Given Everything
You were there for her. You listened. You made sacrifices. You did everything "right." But now she's gone, and you're left asking, "What the hell did I do wrong?"
You feel confused, angry, maybe even a little betrayed. She moved on like it was nothing, and you're still stuck wondering what else you could've done.
The truth is, what felt like love was really a covert contract.
Understanding Nice Guy Syndrome
Nice Guy Syndrome isn't about being kind; it's about hidden manipulation. It's the belief that if you're just nice enough, don't rock the boat, and always accommodate, you'll get love and a problem-free life.
But when that doesn't happen, resentment builds, leading to passive-aggressive behavior or temper tantrums.
These covert contracts—expecting love, sex, or loyalty in exchange for labor—often develop in childhood, where approval equaled survival.
Doing "everything right" still leads to rejection because she didn't leave because you were bad; she left because you weren't you.
Many nice guys do things they don't want to do because they're too afraid to set boundaries and say no. They become compliant, overly agreeable, and passive—traits women don't respect.
The Man You Became Long Before the Breakup
It wasn't about the last fight; it was about the man you became long before that. And the worst part? You didn't even know you were sabotaging your own relationship.
Avoiding Conflict Isn't Strength—It's Fear
Avoiding conflict makes you predictable and spineless. Saying "I'll do anything for her" often turns into "she lost respect for me."
She wasn't confused; she was just no longer attracted to a man who put her above himself.
The Parable of the Nice Guy
Let me tell you a quick story.
There was once a man who lived in a quiet town, known by everyone as "a really good guy." He always held the door, gave more than he received, and always said yes—even when it cost him something.
He fell in love with a woman and gave her everything: his time, energy, focus, and identity. He thought that if he just loved her hard enough and proved how loyal he was, she'd see how good he was and never leave.
But one day, she did. She told him, "You're a great guy… but I feel trapped. I need space. I need to find myself." And just like that, she was gone.
At first, he blamed himself, thinking if he'd just done more—been more patient, more helpful, more agreeable—it might've worked.
But then, something shifted. He wandered into a circle of men. They didn't mock him or pity him. They listened and then spoke. Each one had their own scars and stories of giving too much.
They helped him see the pattern: it wasn't his kindness that failed—it was his inauthenticity. He had traded his masculinity for approval, his truth for peace. And peace bought that way never lasts.
Over time, that man changed. He didn't become bitter; he became honest and direct. He spoke his truth, set boundaries, and stopped asking for permission to lead.
And something wild happened: he stopped obsessing over the woman who left. He started becoming the man he never dared to be before.
And this time, when he dated again, he wasn't the seller; he was the buyer.
You Don't Need Another Woman to Heal You
If you're in that place now—lost, heartbroken, trying to make sense of it all—you don't need another woman to heal you. You need clarity, truth, and men who've walked the fire and made it out stronger.
If you don't fix this programming, you'll keep reliving this breakup in different bodies and faces. And it'll always end the same: she leaves, and you're left picking up the pieces.
Introducing 'Forget That B*tch'
My book, 'Forget That B*tch,' drops June 6th in paperback, hardcover, Kindle, and Audible. But you can pre-order the Kindle edition now and lock in your spot before launch.
This isn't just a breakup book; it's a full-on reprogramming manual for men who gave their power away and got burned.
Inside, I'll show you:
- Why she pulled away even when you did everything "right"
- How to erase her from your head without rebounds or bitterness
- The masculine mindset shift that gets you respect, desire, and clarity moving forward
No fluff. No therapy talk. Just straight answers, brutal truth, and a step-by-step guide to rebuilding yourself into the man she'll regret losing—and the next one won't get to keep unless she earns it.
Pre-order now: Forget That B*tch
The Real Solution: Killing the 'Nice Guy' and Rebuilding Self-Respect
Assertiveness isn't aggression; it's honesty plus boundaries. You don't need to be mean; you need to be authentic.
Learn to say "no" without guilt and embrace conflict as a form of clarity.
Here are some practical tools from 'When I Say No I Feel Guilty':
Fogging
Agreeing with any truth in criticism without getting defensive. It disarms manipulation.
Example:
Her: "You're so selfish now. You never used to act like this."
You: "You're right—I’ve definitely started putting myself first more lately."
Why it works: You don't resist, chase, or explain. You hold frame.
Negative Assertion
Calmly accepting your flaws or mistakes without self-attack. You own your reality.
Example:
Her: "You always shut down during arguments."
You: "Yeah, I can see that. I've got work to do when it comes to staying present in conflict."
Why it works: It kills her ability to shame you. You're not pretending to be perfect—you're grounded.
Negative Inquiry
Asking for clarification when criticized, forcing the accuser to be specific.
Example:
Her: "You're such a jerk."
You: "What exactly did I say or do that came off that way to you?"
Why it works: You shift the frame from emotional attack to objective analysis. You stay calm. She's now explaining herself.
Emotional Independence
No more looking to women for your worth. Internal validation is the ONLY way to stop getting destroyed by breakups.
Self-respect is the difference between setting a boundary and begging to be loved.
I teach this entire process in 'Forget That B*tch'—it's not just a breakup guide. It's a reprogramming manual for men stuck in old patterns.
Inside the W.O.L.F. Pack, we don't just talk about it. We live it. Weekly accountability. Daily practice. No more passive suffering.
This podcast helps you wake up. The book and the coaching are how you rebuild.
0 Comments