The Rebound Trap After Breakups
If you’re anything like I was after my divorce, you probably feel like your whole world just got flipped upside down. You’re not sleeping well. You’re staring at your phone like it holds the answers to everything. Your ex is haunting your thoughts, and every day feels like an emotional war zone. You just want the pain to stop. So what do you do? You jump on dating apps, swipe right on anyone with a pulse, and hope that little dopamine hit will patch the gaping hole in your chest. Trust me—I’ve been there.
In fact, I remember that first year after my divorce like it was yesterday. Fourteen years of marriage, gone. Even though I was done with her, even though the relationship was toxic by the end, the silence in my house was deafening. And the loneliness? It was brutal. That’s when the idea of a rebound relationship starts to seem like a pretty damn good plan.
But here’s what I’ve learned. And it’s what I teach in my new book, Forget That B*tch, which is dropping this June on Amazon and Audible. Rebound relationships are just painkillers. They don’t heal you. They numb you. And when the numbness wears off, the pain is still there—plus a whole new batch of issues to deal with.
Why Rebound Relationships Are So Tempting
After a long relationship, especially a marriage, being alone is scary as hell. That fear makes you do dumb things. For me, it wasn’t just loneliness—it was my ego. I needed to prove I was still desirable. That someone out there still wanted me. And dating apps became the arena for that ego boost. Every time a girl matched with me, I felt like I won a prize. That dopamine rush? It was addicting.
But the problem is, I wasn’t dating from a place of strength. I was dating from weakness. From fear. From neediness. I wanted to fill the void my ex left, and instead of healing, I was just putting a Band-Aid over a bullet wound.
I talk about this in my free ebook, "Fine... Here's How To Get Her Back". You may think getting her back will fix everything. It won’t. But I still want you to read it—because when you do, you’ll learn why that’s the worst move you can make right now, and what to do instead.
The Real Reason You Can’t Stop Thinking About Her
Let’s be honest. You don’t miss her. You miss the routine. The validation. The comfort of not being alone. That’s not love—that’s withdrawal. You’re not craving her, you’re craving the life you lost. And deep down, you’re hoping some rebound chick will bring it all back.
But every time you try to recreate what you had, it blows up. Why? Because you’re not the same man you were when you met your ex. You’re wounded now. Raw. Reactive. And that’s the version of you showing up on dates. Women can sense that. They may not be able to put it into words, but they can smell neediness like blood in the water.
That’s why rebound relationships crash and burn. Because they’re built on the ashes of your identity. You’re not ready. You haven’t healed. And every smile you fake on a first date is just a delay in your recovery.
Your Ego Is Lying to You
Your ego is the biggest liar in the room right now. It tells you that being single makes you weak. That you’re only valuable if someone wants you. That the only way to feel better is to find someone else fast.
But the truth is, you’re not weak—you’re wounded. And you need to stop chasing women long enough to actually sit with your pain. To process it. To understand what really happened in your last relationship. Because if you don’t, you’re just going to repeat the same damn patterns over and over.
I know this because I did it. I rushed into dating after my divorce, not realizing I was trying to outrun the grief. I wasn’t honest with myself. I told myself I was moving on, but all I was really doing was distracting myself. And the longer I avoided the truth, the longer I stayed stuck.
That’s why I wrote Forget That B*tch. It’s the book I wish I had when I was stumbling through the aftermath of my divorce. It’s not just about letting go of your ex—it’s about rebuilding yourself into the kind of man who doesn’t need her in the first place.
You Have to Heal Before You Date Again
Here’s something I learned the hard way: emotional injuries are just like physical ones. You can’t rush back onto the field before the wound is closed. I messed up my knees running earlier this year. If I jump back into my old routine too soon, I’ll make the injury worse. It’s the same thing with breakups. You’ve got to give yourself time to heal. To rest. To rehab.
When you rush into something new before you’ve done the work, you bring all your baggage with you. You become paranoid, insecure, reactive. Every little thing your new girl says sends you into a spiral. And before you know it, you’re sabotaging a potentially good thing because you never unpacked the damage your ex left behind.
Healing takes time. It takes reflection. And it takes brutal honesty. You’ve got to stop blaming her. Stop blaming yourself. And start asking better questions. What patterns did you ignore? What boundaries did you fail to set? Where did you lose yourself along the way?
You’ll find those answers in Forget That B*tch. And if you’re not ready to preorder the full book, then grab my free ebook, "Fine... Here's How To Get Her Back". It will walk you through the process of understanding your own obsession—and why letting go is the most powerful thing you can do right now.
The Path Forward Is Lonely—But Worth It
Nobody tells you how isolating breakup recovery can be. Your friends don’t get it. Your family gives you cliché advice. And you’re stuck in your own head, second-guessing everything.
That’s why you need a path. A strategy. A community.
That’s what I offer on my YouTube channel, Come On, Man, and in everything I write. I don’t sugarcoat. I don’t do therapy talk. I give you straight, tactical advice rooted in real-world experience and masculine leadership. You won’t just survive this. You’ll rise from it.
And when you do, you won’t need a rebound. You won’t need your ex. You’ll have something way more powerful—yourself.
Preorder the Book, Start the Work
Here’s the next step. Preorder Forget That B*tch if you’re ready to go all-in on your recovery. Or grab "Fine... Here's How To Get Her Back" if you’re still trying to make sense of it all. Either way, don’t keep spinning in circles. Don’t let another woman become your emotional crutch. Reclaim your strength. Rebuild your identity.
The only way out is through. And I’ll be right here with you.
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