There is a brutal and unspoken truth about breakups that very few guys want to face. I've been there myself, so I know this firsthand. When she leaves, when the relationship falls apart, when you're suddenly on your own, the hardest battle isn't with her — it's with your own mind. You can't stop thinking about her. She's all you dream about. You stalk her socials, you think about texting her, you run endless scenarios in your head where maybe, just maybe, you say the perfect thing and she suddenly realizes she misses you and comes running back.
That fantasy is powerful. But it's killing you slowly.
And it's time to kill that fantasy, once and for all.
If you're here right now, reading this, chances are you are stuck in that exact cycle. You're wondering if she'll ever come back. You're obsessing about whether you should send that "happy birthday" text. You keep telling yourself that maybe, if you just do the right thing or say the right thing, she'll see the light.
I'm here to tell you the hard truth: It doesn't work like that.
Obsession Isn't Love. It's Ego.
When you're stuck in this headspace, it doesn't feel like ego. It feels like heartbreak. You tell yourself she was your soulmate. You believe you messed up and you just want another chance to fix things. You convince yourself it's about love and longing.
But it's not.
As I break down in my upcoming book, Forget That B*tch, which will be available this June on Amazon and Audible, much of this behavior is not about love at all. It's about your ego taking a hit. It's about rejection. It's about facing the brutal reality that she chose someone or something else — and that burns. Bad.
In fact, one of the hardest pills to swallow is that most of your obsession is not about her being "the one." It's about you not being able to accept that you weren't hers. There's a huge difference.
If you're struggling right now, and part of you still wants her back, I strongly recommend grabbing my free ebook, Fine... Here's How To Get Her Back. Inside, you'll not only learn tactical ways to reset your mindset and approach, but you'll also start to see why winning her back isn't the win you think it is. More often than not, it's a trap.
The Low Hanging Fruit Trap
One thing I see with men over and over again, especially guys in their 30s and beyond who are newly single, is what I call the low hanging fruit trap.
Here's what happens. You try to go back out there. Maybe you hop on dating apps. You go on a couple of dates. It sucks. Let's be honest — the modern dating scene is rough. Ghosting, flakes, lack of connection. It wears on you.
And suddenly, she starts looking like a better option.
You start telling yourself things like "Well, she wasn't that bad" or "Maybe I should have just handled things differently." In reality, you're romanticizing the past because the present feels hard. She feels safe, familiar. Going back to her seems easier than dealing with rejection, swiping endlessly on apps, or learning new dating skills.
But this is where most men destroy their future potential.
As I explain deeply in Forget That B*tch, going back to your ex almost never works. Why? Because you're not going back as the man she wanted in the first place. You're going back from a place of weakness and desperation. That alone makes you unattractive to her and disrespectful to yourself.
If you really want to understand how this plays out and how to avoid this deadly cycle, download Fine... Here's How To Get Her Back now and start preparing your mind to move forward.
Why "Trying Harder" Will Backfire
This is where the obsession becomes toxic. You think you're being romantic. You think persistence will pay off. You've heard stories of guys who "never gave up" and won the girl in the end.
That's Hollywood. Not reality.
In reality, when you're the guy who can't take the hint and who keeps chasing, you don't come across as romantic. You come across as weak, needy, and clueless. That's not attractive to women — and deep down, you know this. Yet, you can't stop yourself.
You fall into the trap of thinking if you just send the perfect text, if you say the right words, if you post something cool on Instagram, she'll magically realize she messed up and come running back.
She won't.
In fact, she'll run further away. Respect dies with every failed attempt to win her over with words. This is where the real challenge lies. You don't need more clever text lines. You need to kill the part of you that thinks getting her back is the solution.
This is exactly what I break down in Forget That B*tch, and it’s why that book is essential reading if you truly want to break free.
Breaking The Cycle Starts With You
It's easy to make her the focus of everything. Your pain, your obsession, your "what ifs" — they all revolve around her. That's why you're stuck. You made her the center of your world, and now that she's gone, your world feels empty.
Here's the harsh truth. She shouldn't have been the center in the first place.
You need to become the center of your own world again. You need to reclaim your identity. You need to start living life for yourself, chasing your mission, and building the man that she couldn't replace — not begging her to come back and fill the void.
When you stop giving her your mental energy, you take back your power. When you stop chasing and start building, your mindset shifts. That’s when real healing starts.
This is why I wrote Forget That B*tch. It’s not just about moving on — it’s about becoming the type of man who doesn’t obsess in the first place. Pre-order it now and get ready to take back control of your story.
Get The Free Ebook and Take The First Step
Look, I know this is hard. I know part of you still clings to the hope that she might come back. I’ve been there, and that’s why I created my free ebook, Fine... Here's How To Get Her Back. If you’re still stuck, this is your next step. It will walk you through the mindset shift you need, and help you realize that winning her back isn’t what you actually want.
Trust me — the only way out of this obsession is forward, not backward.
When you grab the free ebook, you’ll also be notified the moment Forget That B*tch drops on Amazon and Audible this June. That book is going to be the blueprint for men like you who are done wasting energy on what’s gone, and ready to start winning at what’s next.
You don’t need her back. You need you back. The man you were before you lost yourself in chasing her validation.
Stop chasing ghosts. Pre-order Forget That B*tch, grab Fine... Here's How To Get Her Back for free, and start leading your own life again.
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