Divorce hits differently after 30. When you built a life together, envisioned a forever, and poured years of effort into a relationship that crumbled, the pain cuts deep. What makes it even worse? You can’t stop thinking about her. You can’t stop replaying conversations, wondering where you went wrong, and imagining ways to win her back.
If you’re reading this, you know exactly what I’m talking about. That gnawing obsession keeps you stuck, and no matter how much logic you try to apply, you keep circling back to the same place. I’ve been there. I’ve lived it. But here’s the truth that finally set me free and it can set you free too: Obsessing over her is not love. It’s weakness. And weakness never wins her back. Worse—it destroys you.
The Destructive Trap of Obsession
After divorce, most men fall into the same mental trap. You wake up and she’s on your mind. You go to bed and she’s still there. Maybe you stalk her social media, read old texts, and try to decode every little thing she did or said. You tell yourself you're just looking for answers, but deep down you know the truth. You're not looking for answers. You're hoping for hope. You’re craving validation that she still cares, that you still matter.
But here’s the brutal reality. When she left, she mentally moved on long before you ever realized it. That’s how women operate. They detach emotionally first, preparing themselves quietly and strategically while you remain clueless, still thinking everything can be fixed. In my book, Get Her To Fck You Again* (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DRT922PB), I talk extensively about how attraction dies long before action is taken. Once her desire dies, chasing does nothing except erode respect.
Why Obsession Kills Masculine Energy
Obsession over your ex doesn’t make you noble. It doesn’t make you romantic. It doesn’t make you the guy in the movie who wins her back after a heartfelt speech. No, brother. It makes you look weak, desperate, and easy to control.
The more you fixate, the more power you give her. You validate her decision to leave. You reinforce the narrative in her mind that she made the right choice. After all, what real man would beg for another chance while she’s already halfway into her next chapter?
In Forget That B*tch: A Red Pill Guide To Breakups (coming June), I explain why men must reclaim power through detachment. Not for revenge. Not to make her miss you. But because powerlessness is repellent—and masculine strength is magnetic. Until you cut the emotional tether, you will never regain the edge that made her attracted to you in the first place.
Acceptance Is Not Giving Up—It's Winning
When I say forget her, I’m not talking about pretending she never existed. I’m not talking about erasing memories or becoming bitter. I’m talking about acceptance.
Acceptance is the moment you realize that no matter how many times you rewind the tape, the ending is the same. The relationship failed. She is gone. And obsessing over "what if" and "if only" does nothing except keep you anchored to the past.
In my free ebook, Fine... Here's How To Get Her Back (https://comeonmanpod.gumroad.com/l/getherback), I actually explain why chasing and pleading will never work and why the only chance you might have (and even that is slim) is through indifference and moving on. Ironically, moving on doesn’t just set you free—it makes you attractive again. But by then, if you do the work, you won’t care anymore. And that’s the real win.
Build The Man She Can’t Have Anymore
Once you accept that she’s not coming back, the real work begins. It’s time to shift from thinking about her to thinking about you. Not the broken version of you that came crawling after the divorce. The new version that emerges when you take control.
Rebuilding after divorce isn’t about revenge. It’s about reclaiming purpose. Your purpose. Get your body right. Get your money right. Get your social circle right. And above all, get your mind right.
This isn’t just self-help talk. It’s strategic. Women are biologically drawn to men on a mission. When you stop chasing her and start chasing excellence, you naturally shift the dynamic. She becomes a distant memory in your rear-view mirror while you speed toward your future.
In Forget That B*tch, I guide men through this transformation step-by-step. From no-contact, to rebuilding physical confidence, to cultivating emotional stoicism that makes you unshakable.
She’s Not Your Problem Anymore
Here’s the part that stings at first but will free you forever. She’s not your problem anymore. Her decisions, her emotions, her actions—they no longer matter. You are no longer in the business of managing her feelings or seeking her approval.
The second you stop worrying about her is the second you start regaining control over your own life. And trust me, when you get to that point, you won’t want her back. Not because you hate her. But because you’ll love yourself too much to entertain the idea of revisiting a relationship that devalued you.
Real Power Is Walking Away Without a Word
The world teaches us to talk things out, to seek closure, to “be friends.” That’s not the path of the masculine man. Power is walking away in silence. Power is not reacting when she posts that thirst trap or when mutual friends tell you she’s dating again.
Power is knowing that you are not in competition with her or her new guy. You are in competition only with the man you were yesterday.
You do not get your dignity back by trying to win her over. You get your dignity back by becoming the man you should have been all along.
And if you need a roadmap to do that, my free ebook Fine... Here's How To Get Her Back (https://comeonmanpod.gumroad.com/l/getherback) will get you started today.
It’s Time To Get To Work
If you are still stuck in your head, still wondering why she left, still hoping she’ll change her mind—stop.
I wrote Forget That B*tch (coming this June) because I lived this. I know how much it sucks. I know how powerless you feel. But I also know how incredible it feels when you flip the script and stop giving a damn about her and start giving a damn about yourself.
The free ebook will help you start that journey right now. When the full book drops, it’s going to be the definitive guide to not only getting over her but turning into the man you were always supposed to be.
Click here to grab your free copy of Fine... Here's How To Get Her Back (https://comeonmanpod.gumroad.com/l/getherback) and take the first step today.
Because the next chapter of your life isn’t about her.
It’s about you.
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